the Thought of Losing You
by her ocean eyes
Summary: during/post Neverland. What does it take to make Emma realize that she can't lose Killian? Killian risks his life to save Henry and barely survives. That's what it takes. One-shot. Captain Swan. - A little bit OOC-ness, my apologies.


**the Thought of Losing You**

_Disclaimer: None of this is mine, not the characters, not the storyline. When it would be Meghan would be on-screen like forever and Emma and Killian would already be canon._

* * *

His side hurts so badly that he finds it incredibly hard to breathe. The pain is throbbing, pulsing through his veins. He has only one aim. _Reach her_. _See her. At least one last time._ The blood loss makes him dizzy. He rather stumbles then walks but somehow he makes it to the shore. His blue eyes find the _Jolly Roger_ and the people who stand on its deck. _Six. They are six. Henry's safe. The diversion worked_, he thinks. Trying to walk upright he walks down the beach towards his vessel.

It doesn't take long until someone on board spots him. A voice screams his name, then one of the six of the people on board storms down the gangplank. Blond hair flies through the air, green eyes shimmer with unshed tears of relief. Emma runs towards him and she only comes to a halt when they are about one inch apart from each other. She's panting and completely and utterly beautiful. The blond sheriff princess looks up at him with big green eyes, a wide smile forms on her lips.

"Hook," she whispers and then she wraps her arms around him, clinging onto him desperately while he takes in a sharp breath, suppressing the pain in his side to savor this one moment with her.

"You're alright, you're good!" she murmurs obviously relieved, her face pressed in the crook of his neck, hot tears meeting his cold skin. Her arms are wrapped firmly around him and her embrace even tightens when he tentatively hugs her back. He closes his blue eyes, burying his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. _Cinnamon, the forest, something that was entirely her - and underneath everything was a small layer of the ocean._

"Have you ever doubted that?" he whispers in her ear softly. One of her hands sneaks to his neck, her fingers tugging at his black hair gently as if trying to make sure that he wouldn't disappear again.

"I was so afraid you wouldn't come back," she cries quietly, pulling away from him slowly, tentatively. So tentatively that it feels like she acts against her own will. He opens his eyes again, looking at her, his gaze gentle and soft. She looks up at him, still crying, while his hand wanders from her back to the back of her head, disappearing in her curly golden tresses. He massages her scalp tenderly and cocks his head, smiling at her softly.

"Did I ever not come back to you, lass?" he asks and she shakes her head, smiling happily, her free hand wanders from his back to his face and she caresses his cheek lovingly, her fingers brushing over his scruff while she raises herself on tiptoes.

"No, you always came back," she whispers, her breath brushing over his lips gently. She watches his smile grow, their eyes still locked.

"See? No need to worr-" But he never gets to finish the sentence much less to kiss her because the pain in his side is suddenly rushing back at full power. So instead of finishing the sentence and leaning towards her to meet her lips he falls forward, right into her arms, not yet unconscious but on the very edge of fainting.

"Hook?" she yells but his eyes are already fluttering close. "Jones?!" The blond falls to her knees, his body in her arms, one of her hands wandering along his upper body eventually finding his wound, putting pressure onto it to stop the blood from seeping out of his injury.

"_**Killian!**_" she finally screams and a small smile tugs at his lips. _Finally_, he thinks. _She said my name_. Then the unconsciousness overwhelms him and everything turns black.

* * *

The next time he opens his eyes everything is a blur. For a moment everything feels like he is floating, then his side starts to throb and he takes in sharp, painful breath, clenching his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut again and sits ups in the bed he lays in. He opens his eyes again just a few moments later, his vision still blurry, but this time he feels more than the pain in his side, he feels a limp hand in his and when his vision slowly focuses he sees the woman at his side. Her head rests on his thigh, one of her hands holds on to his, the other lies under her head, on his thigh. _Emma_, he thinks, looking around. His cabin. He is in his cabin and Emma is with him. He looks down on his body, sees that he doesn't wear vest or shirt but there is a white bandage around his upper body, covering the injured side of him that still hurts like hell.

He gazes around one more time and only then he notices the people in his doorframe. Snow White and her prince are standing there, her hand resting on Henry's shoulder. The boy watches him curiously but none of them makes a sound. Snow gently pulls on Henry's shoulder and with a smile they leave, just Charming remains, leaning in the doorframe.

The prince watches him thoughtfully, then he gives him a short nod and leaves too, shutting the door behind him. Surprised Killian watches the door falling shut, then he rivets on Emma, the gorgeous blond princess on his bed, by his side. She's fast asleep but she doesn't look very peacefully, instead there is a worry line on her forehead. Softly he squeezes her hand and she winces, then she opens her green eyes and her gaze finds his immediately. Her mouth opens in surprise, then she squeezes back, her face relaxing ever so slightly.

"You're awake," she murmurs relieved and barely audible. He frowns.

"How long was I out?" he asks, his voice hoarse, his throat suddenly feeling very dry. As if Emma can read his mind she reaches for a glass on the side of his bed and lets go of his hand tentatively so he can grab the glass himself and take a sip.

"Four days," she looks out of the window. "Well, four and a half." She looks back at him, her gaze filled with worry again.

"What happened after-" He clears his throat. "I fainted?" She smiles slightly because she knows how much he hates it to be the weak one, she feels the same, even though it wasn't his fault that he lost his consciousness. It had been the blood lost after all.

"We, my parents and I, brought you to the ship and into your cabin. Regina even tried to heal your wound but apparently it was poisoned and it took a lot of convincing to persuade Gold to help you." She pauses and looks at him for a moment curiously. Killian grimaces.

"Bastard," he growls and Emma rolls her eyes.

"Well in the end he helped you but we still couldn't heal your wound so we waited until you would wake up." He arches one eyebrow at her.

"We?" The blond blushes softly and brushes a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I. And sometimes Henry. But mostly-" She looks down on his covers and bites down on her lower lip.

"You," he finishes her sentence and she nods and looks up at him again, meeting his eyes. "You didn't have to do that." Emma shakes her head.

"Of course I had to. You just risked your life to save my son!" He lifts his hand to her face and this time he is the one who brushes a loose strand of her blond hair behind her ear.

"It was the right thing to do. And he is save, isn't he?" he asks softly and she looks up at him with an angry scowl.

"You almost died!" she accuses him and he shrugs.

"I know." She rolls her eyes and stands up.

"Well, apparently you are okay now, so-" she says but instead of finishing her sentence she walks towards his door, obviously intending to leave him.

"Emma, wait!" She stops, but she still faces the door. She doesn't turn around, but he sees her shoulders shake and suddenly he knows that she's crying. Because of him. Because she _cares_ just like he _cares _for her.

"You could have died," she repeats, her voice broken and he sees her face in front of his mind's eye, her expression hurt, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

"I know," he replies and this time she turns around. She looks just like he thought she would, beautiful and hurt.

"You don't seem to care!"

"You and your family were safe, what could you probably want more?" he almost snaps and frustrated Emma bites down on her lower lip. Then she opens her mouth just to close it again. "What?" he prompts and their eyes lock again.

"I just couldn't bear the thought of losing-" she hesitates for the briefest of moments. "-you." But he can read between the lines, he can read _her_. 'The thought of losing someone who means so much to me like you do by now.' That's why he doesn't ask why but tries to get out of his bed. But his wound just starts to hurt again and with a moan he falls back into his pillows, Emma by his side in an instant, one hand on his chest, the other on his bed to keep him right there.

"Idiot," she growls and he laughs. He really _laughs_. It hurts, but it's worth it. It's worth it because of the soft smile that plays upon her lips as she shakes her head and tries to take her hand back to stand up straight. But he grabs her hand and keeps it there. Right over his beating heart.

"Then I won't do this again," he promises softly and she nods, meeting his eyes again.

"I should hope so." He chuckles, then lifts her hand and presses a soft kiss to her palm.

"I won't leave you, Emma."

"Promise?"

"Promise." And with that she finally leans forward and kisses him softly. And without a moment of hesitation he kisses her back.

_Finally_.

**the end**

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_**A/N: Okay, I suppose that was pretty much OOC, I am very sorry for that. But in my opinion once Emma lets her walls down she won't try to shut our dear captain out anymore. But I don't really know...**_

_**And as plus in the first "scene" she is just so bloody relieved that he is alive and "well" (not so much) that there is simply no time for walls. The second scene... Well, I don't know, there acutally is no excuse for their OOC-ness, so I simply hope you forgive me and still appreciated reading this one-shot.**_

_**Tell me what you think?**_


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